"I'm Going to Come....

....and tell you what happened to me."

Oh what did you think that was suppose to be a dirty title? Fucking perv.

So I wanna start writing a screenplay. A funny screenplay in a serious way. For example my whole life is one sad story if you look at it one way, but if you look at it in a funny way it could be one funny ass script for a movie. But the only problem is I need a fucking writing partner. I'm sick of all this solo shit. No more. But I've decided to take on the directing. But hey who the fuck knows? This thing is probably not even gonna go anywhere. But if it does, I'm directing it. The reason why I want to direct it is because all the great comedians go on to write and direct their own work. I mean Chris Rock, Woody Allen, Louis C.K., Mike Birbigila, and more. I mean if a comedian wants to get shit done, why not take on the directors' chair?

This one kid is fucking hilarious. He wants to be a comedian. He wants to be a Zach Galifinakis type as I wanna be a Richard Pryor mixed with Louis CK and Jerry Seinfeld. We sometimes swap jokes to one and another and laugh at the ridiculous things we've just said. Hell we even talked about heading over to Medford to perform stand-up. But I don't think it was taken seriously. But people don't realize, man. If you give me five minutes of your time with full on uncensored material I could maybe do something great. And maybe I will fail, maybe I will just never wanna do it again but at least I know I didn't go down without at least trying. I don't feel like giving up anymore peeps.

So this girl on Twitter tweeted to me:

"@Osmosis_420 is seriously the only guy who blogs. Props to you!" - (@jadorealex_, Alex) 

This made me laugh because this is exactly the kind of feedback I'm trying to get. Hell if I have to do something as gay as a blog to get you people to finally hear me out then bring the blog on, bitches.

Fuck, it's hard to believe I was in talks with a indie director to get my book out there. So much for that shit.. Now I'm sure you would like to hear this. And don't get me wrong, I'll tell you but just to let you know...it's fucking embarrassing. It started with my outrageous circle of friends...

THE CHANCE.

So I started hanging out with the wrong crowd and doing things I shouldn't be as I came across the idea of writing all of the fucked up shit I do. People at the school liked it. But as soon as we knew it, a director noticed it. His name was John Stalberg, Jr. director of an indie "HIGH School" with the great Adrien Brody in a almost unrecognizable role as a psycho fucking drug dealer. It's some funny shit.

Anyways I've been keeping up with this movie ever since I was in the seventh grade. I remember seeing the teaser for the first time. It completely grasped my attention. You see the movie is about a geek taking a hit of the chronic for the first time with his stoner buddy, little do they know that there's a drug test the next day and who ever fails gets expelled. I fell in love. The movie didn't end up coming out until 2012, but in my freshmen year of high school he saw me comment my blog onto his facebook page, next thing you know I'm talking to him.

"you really need to put down the bong when you're writing. You tend to make a lot of mistakes. But other then that you have a good voice."

These conversations didn't last long but I would always IM him for more pointers and advice. We had a pretty cool friendship thing. And the best thing about it was he would tweet my blogs! He created me a semi-successful blogging career going. Until he finally convinced me to take them all and put it all in one book or movie. I did it. And boy was I excited. But I got a little too excited..

"Hey man, I'm writing the script!" I tell John.

"That's great! Keep up the good work!" He responded.

And then I did it. I scared him off.

"Hey man so I was wondering if you could like show it off to some of your celebrity friends or maybe direct it?"

I never heard from John again. But maybe that's a good thing. Who knows what would've happened if I didn't send off that creepy ass vibe? What if I made it and blew off all my money on coke, whores, and bubble gum? What would happen next? Would I have to shave half my head and then go to rehab for a couple weeks like every other fucking celebrity in America now?

Okay, I'm dozing off. I didn't really realize it until I saw the long running puddle of drool starting from my lip, continuing all the way down my shirt, on to my pajama bottoms. Yeah that's a sign to take a rest on this writing thing.

Remember God loves everyone besides the people who curse non-stop, do illegal drugs like the pot, has underage sexual relations with girls much younger then them, and the crack whores on 7th st. But other then that you're on his nice list. Or whatever the fuck he has to keep track of all this shit.

Until next time.