Sex These Days....

I never understood that term "I'm going to tap that" like what does that even mean? What're you going to tap her shoulder until she comes or tap dance until she screams your name? I just don't understand why the people in my generation have to say stuff like "I'm going to tap that" like why not say "I'm going to fuck her"? I know it's still an extremely vulgar term but I think it's better and more straight-forward then "I'm gonna tap that".

Or whatever happened to the good old fashioned "I'm going to make love with her"? Like why can't guys still use that term without being called a fag in front of all of his guy friends? Like literally try it, go up to your friends and say "I just made love" and next thing you know you'll have at least 100 really inappropriate and not-so-clever nick names referring to your large vagina.

Or what ever happened to the one and only "I'm going to have sex" I hardly hear this shit anymore. And not to mention the crazy ass sexual positions people are talking about now.

Like for example 'the angry dragon'...

THE ANGRY DRAGON

Davontte: Bro have you ever 'angry dragooned' a girl?

Me: What the fuck is a 'angry dragon'?

Davontte: It's when you blow your load into a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out of her nose.

Me: And why is that called the 'angry dragon'?

Davontte: Because afterwards when she looks at you she looks like an angry dragon.

Or how about 'the brown necktie'.

THE BROWN NECKTIE

Aldo: Have you heard about 'the brown necktie'?

Me: What is this?

Aldo: It's when you're about halfway through having anal sex with a chick, and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between her boobs.

Me: Okay Aldo, what the fuck?

Let's not forget 'the carpet cleaner'...

THE CARPET CLEANER

Shay: Have you ever done 'the carpet cleaner'?

Me: Do I even wanna know?

Shay: It's when you fuck a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet.

But not to mention the 'woody woodpecker'...

THE WOODY WOODPECKER

Will: Have you ever done the 'woody woodpecker'?

Me: I don't wanna know.

Will: It's while a girl is sucking on your balls you lift up your dick and tap her forehead with it.

Me: This world has gone insane.

Now if that's the freaky shit going on nowadays I can't imagine how it's going to be in the future. Like why do girls even like that shit? Why can't we just do the usual guy on top penetrate, or girl on top penetrate. Why do we have to do all of this crazy maneuvering? We're in America, not fucking Germany.

Well anyways to conclude this vulgar and disturbing post I will say I have never done these, nor have my friends. I at least hope and think that they haven't. And I for one want to bring back the term "I'm going to have sex" instead of "I'm going to tap that". I mean that is what started this post right?

#ThanksForListeningOrReading